ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
