So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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