girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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