i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
