True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
