I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
