I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize