i barfeds in our rink
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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