they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
