so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
