He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Send help, water and tortillas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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