now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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