My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
