Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
