i jhust puked up my retainher.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
