And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize