I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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