i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How's work?
Spinning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
