Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
