I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
