Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
