If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Everclear isn't food dammit
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
