You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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