Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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