Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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