the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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