In America we eat man semen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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