Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
