I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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