We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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