the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
