Your dad touched me again.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I forget how to act sober
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize