she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize