I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
