as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
