whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
