was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
