He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
