Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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