The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
