k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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