Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Terrible idea I love it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
