it was like eating out sand paper
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize