You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize