I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
