Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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