i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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