Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
