dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize