it's great music for shaving your balls
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My Sexting was not on an AP level
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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