I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
