I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
