It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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