Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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