it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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