oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
