The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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