my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
