I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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