in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
