wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
