Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
