YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize