Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
