I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
