I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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