white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize