we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
