Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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